Nurturing the Disseminator
Her hands are at once comforting and familiar to me.
They’ve smoothed, combed, separated, and braided my hair from young childhood
into my now blossoming womanhood. As her hands work their way through my scalp,
she weaves her magic. She is the eldest woman in the tribe and my Great Grandmother.
I feel honored in this relation and a sense of destiny within the group.
Since before my birth, they have had great expectations for me but I do not feel obligated to uphold any role here.
There is a natural balance within this group. Every brother and sister are of importance to the whole.
We are collectively committed to living in the flow.
When the natural order is disrupted, we can right it by unveiling a deeper aspect of who we are.
I have always felt sure of myself within this community. Great Grandmother says that I came into the world
for the purpose of receiving and transmitting information crucial to the tribe for generations to come.
Tonight, I get to give them something useful. I never know what it will be exactly but I do know
that I will also receive. Great Grandmother prepares me. I let the ritual unfold. I let my mind relax into nothingness.
My thoughts become too heavy to sit upright, so they lay down on the Earth to take a nap.
Quiet becomes an opening into something bigger than us. The Great Woman’s words begin to wash over me
and I feel myself transported to a different world, yet still aware of her presence and the presence
of the tribe as they prepare themselves to receive what will come through me.
The physical world recedes into the background as I become increasingly aware of a power approaching
from the back of my head. The force of it is gentle, yet relentless and it will not stop until the feeling is
translated into images and then words. My words will wash over them and be translated by the tribe back
into images and then into feeling.
In the feeling there is meaning.
In the feeling there is meaning.
This is not work for me. This is my contribution.
Tomorrow Great Grandmother will sit with me by the river. As we wash clothes, we will chant in meditation.
At dusk, she will ask me what I received.
I will respond without thinking and she will understand. Respect runs deep between us.